I am back home ... my project has ended and therefore taking a break ...hopefully not too short nor to long. Hoping that it will be just the perfect length but nothing usually goes the way I want...
Friday two weeks ago was my last day at work ... It was bitter sweet to finish up the project. I had made such lovely relationships there that it... felt real sad when the day came.
Though work was done i was not ready to leave yet ... things had changed ... i had forged friendships that would last me a life time ...but leaving those behind was heart breaking... worse than that was to leave ranjan behind ... things had taken a complete turn with him ( a whole post by itself) ... leaving would mean that I had to come back to the reality of the real world. I was just not ready for that... i dont think I would ever be ready for that ... but it was inevitable wasnt it ... so i was set to start back on wednasday ... i was to leave my athai's on tuesday night stay over at ranjan's and then start on wednasday morning ... but deep down it didnt feel right ... it never would have felt right to leave Ranjan behind ... why you ask... my heart and soul was with him and as with these things there was NO happy ending ... so leaving meant that even the temporary - ness of the situation would be gone ... once I left and came home i would have to face the reality of the situation which i was not and still not ready to face...
The human mind wants always what it cannot have i suppose ... more to come stay connected !!!
SO all in all I am back ... and things are messy both in the personal front and the professional front...
The US visa process has become s o hard that even TN visas are getting harder to apply for ... so denial in that front ... no interviews ... getting your heart broken ... all though you expect all of them to happen to you ... all at once is a still overwhelming ... esplly when your home and the expectations on u are not being fulfilled by you is just the cherry on top... any other week would be better ... just not this week... i m so overwhelmed that even the smallest of things bring a tear in my eye ....
I mean yesterday ... i was waiting for appa to come and dozed off ... we had to go to the bank and when he came i was sleeping ... he woke me up and said how come you didnt go to the bank and that was it i got into a arguement and lost my mind and started crying ... all within a span on 30 secs... hehehe can any one believe that ? Let alone me .... back to everything !!!!
2 comments:
Missed You.
I dont know what to say,if you believe in god,try to be true in everything you do,its the only way tat will get you out of pain,even something hurts you.
Thanks Travis ... Miss ya too ...
GOD !!!
Makes me wonder ... pain is like fire... you go thru it and come back renewed... will live thru this and come back with atleast a small scar but a small one ... :)
PS: thanks for your continued support !
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